Joker and Harley Quinn Kiss of Poison
by xXCrimson-LetterXx
Summary: The Joker seen Harley as nothing more than a sidekick, but when realization over comes him that a psycho such as himself is actually in love, what will he do, especially when there is another with their eyes on Harley. Will he actually pop the question?
1. Preface : Winter Night

Preface

Snow flitted around Gotham in fluffy cotton mounds. Blood streaked throughout the crystal white snow that glittered on the ground, turning pink. I maniacally laughed at the site of all the victims we managed to kill off without any sign of Batsy. The sound of peoples pain made me remember of what horror had smudged upon my soul, this emotion such a nefarious villain like me should never feel. As I searched the area for her face she smiled at me happily, squealing, as she ran into my arms to embrace me for what seemed to be an eternity. We smiled and shared a vicious laugh surrounded by dead bodies. A pair of psychopathic villains who were in love without a care in a world. I am ashamed that this had become of me.

Kicking through the lifeless corpses she followed me, prying a diamond ring of a rich Gotham resident, hearing the bone crack which sent my smile to stretch even more absurdly wide. I knelt down on one knee as she stared at me blank faced. I slipped the ring on her left ring finger, a blush shading its way on her perfect pale white face. She let out a cry of joy as she knelt down by me, pummeling me to the ground abruptly. I felt warm blood on the back of my neck, I reached behind my head, digging my rigid fingers into its warm crimson pool. I smeared the blood across her lips into a demented clown smile. Two of a kind for sure.

Between the two of us was a criminal and psychotic connection that only we could understand. We may express our love in...malicious ways, but how else would you expect one who is twisted to "love"?

I pulled her from the back of her head to peck a passionate kiss to her soft black lips. She was overwhelmingly happy, it made me happy. I did not want such a person in my life, a person to love. Fate has odd ways of showing.

A shadow of bat-like form swooped over head and that can only mean one thing. Batman had finally stirred and was ready to go in for the kill, the bad thing was I wasn't up for it.

"Not tonight, Batsy." I grabbed my girl around her waist and smashed a smiling smoke bomb to the floor. Tonight, on this beautiful cold winter day as cold as our veins was ours and ours alone.


	2. Chapter One : Joker Love Me

Hello! Sorry for not updating this story. I updated now and am already writing the next chapter so enjoy as a christmas present! Happy Holidays =]!

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**Chapter One**

Standing in the shower I watched as the blood on my body floated off down into the tub turning a rosy pink in color as it spiraled down the drain. My blond locks were strung together in bloody wads as I eagerly grabbed my cherry shampoo, digging through my strands. There was a slight tap at my door as I pulled the curtain around me.

"Come in, Puddin!" I sang as the door abruptly burst open, he stood in a neatly pressed purple tux, green ribbon tied perfectly in place. He beamed his psychotic grin at me that I loved so much as I wrapped myself even more protectively in the shower curtain.

"Hello, poo." He spoke, narrowing his eyes as he pulled a gadget out from behind his back, some purple and green explosive device with his face plastered at the tip of it. I flinched taking a step back in the bathtub. He bellowed out a stream of laughter at my fear as he rubbed his hand up and down the object.  
"Ooh! If only I can get the same reaction from the bat!" He chimed as he threw the explosive to the floor, letting it sound off in the bathroom. I jumped in a bit from freight as he suddenly launched forward, cupping my chin between his thumb and index finger. "My word Harley, have some dignity and learn how to keep yourself dressed in front of me!" A round house slap to the face came shooting my way as the curtain flew out across the tub, as I landed against the wall sliding down it. A gust of white light shone in my eyes for a few seconds as I collected myself from up the tub floor. The warm shower water still beating against my bruised spine. I heard his footsteps sound towards the door mumbling under his breath.

"Damn broad can't keep her legs closed for me!" He shut the door soundly as I stood up, trying to collect myself against the tiled wall. I huffed in pain as my eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm not that desperate! I was in the shower for crying out loud!" I went back to continuing my shower, cleaning all the blood that remained etched into my body.

After reapplying my make up and tugging on my jesters costume I strode out into our new hideaway which was a run down apartment on the east side of town. Mistah J huddled over a desk that had a dim lamp shining its away across allowing him to see. I hesitated to walk over to him to play up a romantic feel, but remembering what he had said in the bathroom earlier intrigued my body to ignore him and practice some of my elaborately attained gymnastics. I sprung upward near the Joker's desk, balancing myself with my hands on the rims of a striped beat up couch. He glanced over at me for a second, seeing him eye me up and down as he went back towards his blue prints. A silly pink tongue poking out from between his lips as he concentrated immensely. He ignored me just like any other day of the week. So I hopped off to sit at the edge of his desk, staring at him with my patterned baby blue eyes.

"Harley, I'm busy." He replied scribbling a pen across a few coordinates. I kicked my feet about like a playful child as he side glance at me. "Harl.." He huffed. I knew I was pissing him off now, yet I couldn't stop. I wanted my attention and I wanted it now. I continued to flutter about on the desk and he finally maneuvered to stand in front of me, between my legs. His arms holding him up against my sides as he leaned. He focused on my startled eyes before he made his move. He came towards me licking his lips as he closed his eyes, I apprehensively puckered my lips as his rigid ones engulfed mine. I leaned backwards as he edged even more closer, slicking his tongue over my bottom lip as I invited him in willingly. Suddenly he left me there, yearning. His plan all along as he pushed me off his desk. "Take that, don't like it, too bad!" He spewed as I collected myself off the floor.

"You can never show two minutes of affection!" He ignored me as I limped away to the back of the apartment sprawling myself across the bed in our bedroom. Then, I heard his footsteps ring in clear making a beeline towards me. Great what did I do now?

He entered the room as his long slim shadow casted over me. I tucked my knees in towards my stomach in a fetal position as my right hand rose above my head in a defensive stat. He laughed as he rubbed his hands together.

"Harl, I got quite the task for you poo." I looked up curiously. A task for me? Hes trusting me with a task? I couldn't believe it as a wicked grin spread even further up his demented face. He strutted across the floor taking a seat at the edge of the bed. "You can start the plan of getting rid of ol' Batsy!" He cooed as she lifted an eyebrow.

"H-how would I do that, Mistah J?" As I leaned up against him, turning around he snickered as he pushed me back against the bed. Smiling, my eyes went wide. He removed my jesters hat as my blond curls came loose from the grip. He began to kiss up my neck into my jaw line as I let a puff of air escape my lips.

"Harl, my girl." He spoke in between kisses. "You must seduce the bat for me." He nibbled at my ear as I pushed him away with the palms of my hands.

"_WHAT_?" I screeched pointing a finger up in the air. "No! I could never betray you like that puddin'!" He threw my hands back over my head as he stared me dead in the eyes.

"How would you betray me now? , I believe I am the one asking you to do this little..... investment." He replied as he pecked kisses along my cheeks until he got to her lips, teasing me a bit as he kissed beneath my lower lip. I cringed at the very though of seducing the Batman over my puddin'.

"What if I fell in love with the Batman?" I squealed as he perked an eyebrow up. He then began to cackle absurdly.

"Fall for the bat?" He blasted out laughter even more insanely. "I know you could only have the delectable eyes for me my pet." He then went up to my lips kissing me passionately, seductively. Trying to persuade me with his charm to do this little deed for him. I sighed as I knew I was going to give into him, I just couldn't go against his word.

"Fine." I grunted, not to happy about it at all. He smiled maliciously.

"Come now Harl, lets make this a night we won't forget then." My eyes shone bright at his words as he trailed down my body laughing psychotically.

I woke up in a tangle of bed sheets next to the Joker who was sleeping in all his glory next to me, I smiled as I pushed my blond bangs from out my face. I can't believe that that night had finally happened, after I been pushing him and pushing him for years. I sighed, better late than never I suppose. The window was open sending a bitter cold wind flying through the window. It was winter now and tomorrow is when we will be setting our plan into action. I really hated the fact that I would have to spend some time away from my clown prince of crime. But, it was worth it to know that the Joker really did trust me enough to not betray him with this plan or falling for the bat! I got up and picked up my articles of clothing that laid askew across the bedroom floor. Shuffling as I fumbled to put my jesters costume back on. I hopped into the bathroom as I slipped my right pants leg back on as I stared into the mirror. A hand print was smeared down my face from the white make up that was taken off on some parts, along with some red lipped make up that streaked down some of my body. I sighed, maybe I should just take another shower.

I slipped into the tub as I regulated the water to my temperature. It felt good to have the water stream down my body and awaken me from my dream that just sparked next door. The room in which I could now hear him stretch and walk about in. He stumbled to the door knocking on the wall slightly.

"Harl! Please hurry it up in there! I need to get in there!" I giggled as I opened the curtain.

"You can always come join me, puddin!" His eyes narrowed as he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.

"Damn Harley girl. I give you the whole kitten caboodle one time and you expect it all again and in a shower too now! What a kinky girl." He muttered as he walked away from the bathroom leaving me there to finish up. I rolled my eyes as I continued on with the shower.

We entered downtown Gotham as the Joker took out a smiling bomb full of his laughing gas, tossing it at a nearby pawn shop. We were starting random chaos to get the bat to stir and walk right into our trap. I cartwheeled down the street, a smiling grenade between my teeth as I yanked the top out with my teeth, throwing it at an office building. People screamed and ran for their lives as traces of black began to swirl above our heads jumping from the buildings. I looked back to stare at Mistah J as he gave me a slight head bob, letting me know to start our little drama fest. Hopefully, the two classes of drama I took in high school will pay off in this moment. I sensually swayed my hips from left to right, playing it cool, reminding myself to keep it cool. As the bat jumped down onto the street to do his knowledgeable chatter before he would do any sign of an attack I began my plot.

"_JOKER!_" I screeched as he delayed throwing his laughing bombs to stare at me.

"What now _HARL_?" He bellowed as I stood in front of him now, staring intently.

"I'm so _sick_ of the _leash_ you put me on!" I spun around on my heal, making it dramatic as I pouted.

"Then leave! Since when did I give a _hoot_?" He scoffed as I hung my mouth open drastically, the bat began to come towards us putting his hands up as if to stop the feud between us. Ha! Guess my acting skills are pretty phenomenal!

"You are the lowest piece of scum on the _EARTH _clown!" I spat back as he gave his menacing cackle. He then grabbed my wrist and pulled me in towards him as I whispered in his ear. "Love ya Mistah J!" I then put a scared face back on to not let the effect drop into a drama show. He whispered back into my ear before throwing me onto the concrete.

"You too, poo." He resounded, letting go of me as I hit the concrete floor pretty hard.  
"_OUCH_!" I gasped as the bat helped me from off the ground, his mouth forming into a thin line on his square chin. I clasped onto him as the Joker squirmed in rage, a threatening look upon his face as he shot down the street in a tactful stride.

"Shes all YOURS Batman! Take her to Arkham and I'll blow up this whole entire city! Your choice!" Laughter filled the town as it ricocheted off the surrounding buildings. The Batman stared at me, his gaze uneasy.

"Is he bluffing?" He ordered pointing a slender index finger down the street.

"'Fraid not bat!" I snickered uneasily as he grabbed me by the elbow tugging me towards the batmobile. "Ugh! What a way to treat a lady!" I murmured as he stuffed my head in through the front seat. He jumped to the other side, getting in as he clicked his seat belt.  
"Do I have to do everything for you?" He inquired as he pointed at my seatbelt along the seat. I rolled down the window to rest my elbow on it.

"Man! You do not know how to have fun! Me and the Joker would drive around all the time with no seatbelt! Sometimes even no seats!" He growled as I reached in back of me to grab the damn thing. "Alright, alright! Keep your tights on!"

"I like to follow the law, so excuse me, ." He tapped his pointer finger frantically on the steering wheel as he drove off to where he had to go. He looked unsure of himself as he went through his compartment drawer with his left hand. Grabbing a piece of felt he handed it to me. "Put this on."

"Ooh! How kinky bats! Wanting me to be blinded!" I bit my bottom lip as I winked, he didn't seem so pleased. "Your definitely no fun whatsoever! Loosen up a bit, geeze!" I frowned as I tied the blind fold around my head. Guess he was taking me to his lair. I grunted, it would have been useful if I knew where it was but, whatever. Must keep to the plan. I arched back into my seat as he made sure I couldn't see anything by poking my sides. I began to jump in my seat uncontrollably as he couldn't help but laugh. "Glad your having fun with the only girl who rides in your car nowadays!" I boasted as I heard a snarl. "Damn, don't you ever talk?" The batmobile stopped as I heard metallic doors opening and closing. It was cold and damp as I shivered intently. He put an arm around my shoulders, warming me up with his cape. I graciously accepted as our final steps were taken. I almost tripped over my feet at the sudden stop.

"Why hello Master Br—atman." A voice called out in an English tone.

"Ha! You were called Bratman! I must tell this joke to Mistah J! Once he stops being mad at me!" I pouted maybe a bit too dramatically. Batman took off my blind fold as I stared around his cave. Wow, he really had lots of high-gadgetry. Batman spun me around by my shoulders staring dead at me, well by from what I could tell anyway.  
"You deserve so much better than the Joker Harley." He replied to my statement. I put a hand over my forehead daintily.

"But who would want me? The Jokers left over? Nutso jester girl?" He stared at me his mouth jumbling with what to say. I smirked as I threw off my jesters cap. "Guess I don't need this anymore." I cried as I sat down on the floor where I was pretzel style. He picked me up over his shoulder and headed out of this cave to an elevator which headed even more underground. Rocks upon more rocks flowed as we headed downwards. The elevator finally stopped at this metallic door. Batman pressed a finger towards a scanner that enabled the room to open. When it did, there was small room with a bed, television, and private bathroom inside. He dropped me onto the bed and I lied there in a possessive position. "Oh already Batman? You are such a playboy!" I smiled as he opened up the bathroom door for me, standing as serious as he ever could.  
"You will be staying in here. Theres a communicator there if you get hungry or whatever and I will come. I'll be back in a few minutes, I have to do some scans of the city for your... ex-boyfriend." He muttered as he left in a whoosh, letting his cape flow behind him.

"What a man." I sung as I looked at the door waiting for the elevator to sound. As it did, I opened up my jesters uniform to attain my communicator that I hid. I opened it up and whispered inside of it. "Puddin...." Nothing but static, then a face appeared on that I loved oh so much.

"Harley?" He questioned tapping at his communicator. "Ah, its you." He smiled as his eyes gleamed with sinister details. "What is that bat doing to you?"

"Locked me up in this room all by myself, Mistah J!" I replied, a puppy dog sad face playing in full effect. He sighed.  
"Aw, poor Harley." He then straightened up as he pointed around. "Don't forget to stick to the plan. Get him to fall for you Harley, then we will physically rip him to shreds! Then the plan will go full throttle where we can officially get rid of the bat!" He demonstrated with hand gestures as I giggled.

"You sure know how to get a girl excited!"

"There will be more of that if you do your plans right, poo." He winked then cackled as the communicator fizzed out. I smiled as I twiddled with the quilt with my index finger, creating circles as I reached out for the bats communicator about to hit the red button. Time to start moving!

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Chapter Two Will be alot longer trust me =] I wanted to leave it at this for chapter one so expect more coming soon!


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